By Lord Sargas
16 June 2000
Disclaimer: The Star Wars Universe and its residents are the property of George Lucas, new characters created here are the property of the author.
Jar Jar was led into the small cell by the stormtrooper. The white-clad armored warrior shoved the gungan into the wall and kicked his shin. "Shut up! You insolent horse-faced frog!" The stormtrooper left the injured gungan in the dark, dank prison and let the door slam shut behind him. Jar Jar had no idea where he was. Little did he know, he should have been concerned when he was.
The young gungan had been strolling along the landscape of Naboo. A large bright yellow rectangle had formed several yards in front of him. The naive gungan had walked right up to the oddity and placed his hand upon it. It had sucked him in and thrust him into decades into the future. Now, he was onboard something he had heard some of the white armored men refer to as "death star". It sounded bombad.
Jar Jar lay on the cold cot for hours until the men returned for him. He was taken into the hallway of the prison corridor and they began to pistol whip him.
Alarms went off and an announcement rang over the intercom. "Attention. Attention. Rebels have rescued the princess. All troops began search and destroy!" Jar Jar tried to run and tripped on his own clumsy feet and landed on a panel of bright buttons. He must have hit an important one for all the cells on that block opened. All the prisoners rushed at the troops, beating them to a pulp. They were all the same type of species. They varied in color. Some were purple, some blue, some red and others yellow. They were small, no more than a meter tall. Strange antennae sprouted from their heads. Their language was odd. Unlike anything Jar Jar had ever heard. It seemed to consist of words and phrases such as "La La", "Ehho", "Po", and other infant-like sounds.
The door opened and several more of the armored men entered. "My god!" one of them yelled. "No! They've escaped!" He aimed his rife and fired, killing a few of the brightly colored dwarfs. The rest had jumped the troops and beat them to death.
Another man, this one in a black uniform, looked inside and screamed. "No! The Teletubbies! They're free!" He ran from the room as fast as the wind.
The Teletubbies and Jar Jar fled from the scene and found a hanger bay. Troops fired on them, killing many. Jar Jar received a shot in his lower back, but he managed to get on a shuttle with four of the teletubbies.
Ships began fleeing from the hanger, being fired at by the troops and by the Death Star's large cannons. Of all the ships, only the one with Jar Jar and his four companions made it out. All others were either destroyed or brought back in with a tractor beam.
A time later, the Death Star was destroyed with one shot of a torpedo by Luke Skywalker. All the remaining teletubbies were killed (thank God).
Weeks later, aboard the stolen Imperial Shuttle, Jar Jar and the Teletubbies had learned a bit of the others language. Jar Jar learned that the teletubbies were searching for their new home in another galaxy. They had been looking for generations after their old world was destroyed by a group called the Sith. Their leader, Tinky Winky, had a vision of a world called Earth that had a
hidden land for them to live in. A magic land where the sun had a baby human living in it as their master. It would take another month to reach the intergalactic wormhole that led to this new galaxy.
Halfway through the trip, their food rations ran out. Jar Jar was still wounded, but recovering with his gungan metabolism. Tinky Winky decided that the strong should survive, and they pounced upon Jar Jar and ate him a little at a time until they reached their destination: a blue and green world in the spiral arm of a nondescript little galaxy in the back water of the universe. A world called Earth.
THE END